Who the @$#*% is Alice (Springs)?

As my adventure is coming to an end I decided to make the most of my remaining time and have a true Aussie experience so headed for the heart of Australia, the outback, to work on my Mick Dundee impersonation. The jumping off point for the trip was Alice Springs which I flew to and landed in its most desolate airport, surrounded by such vast nothingness that I am sure they could extend it 100 times over and still no kick up a terminal 5 style stink. Landed and found out the existence of time zones that operate in half-hours, Alice Springs is 9½ hours ahead of GMT, until that I had thought that everyone operated on the same big clock hand.

The township of Alice Springs proved to be equally desolate as its airport. There had been an abnormal amount of rain in the week preceding my arrival, more rain in four days than in the entirety of 2009. This meant that the Todd river, usually a dry bed, was flowing which is a once a decade occurrence. But to somebody who has not been there for the previous nine years it was merely a small river which made my route to my abode twice as long, as usually you did not need to use the footbridge. Popped into the local Flying Doctors station which was mildly interesting, finding out that a mere nine planes service an area the size of the UK from this depot alone, so made a mental note to avoid hospitalisation while I was there.

The most striking thing I found about Alice Springs was the abundant presence of Aboriginals - mostly dressed like cowboys. Previously the only Aboriginals I had seen in the cities were either tramps or performing in streetside didgeridoo shows or both. I would soon learn of the harshities of life which many of their people have had to endure and make sense of this. After expending all of Alice's resources I headed back to the hostel to cool off in the pool, barbecue some kangaroo sausages and rest up for an early start the next day.

Pick up at 6am by a minibus and little did I know that this would prove to be the latest I slept for the next couple of days. There were twenty of us on the trip along with one all round guide/driver/cook/bushman. Out of all the travellers I was the only native English speaker with the rest being a mixture of Danes, Swiss, Swedes, Germans, Koreans and Taiwanese (although it should be noted that although I was the only person with English as my first language that is not to say I was the most fluent!!). So we set off early driving deep into the outback, hitting the Stuart Highway, the longest in Australia which runs coast to coast, North to South, Darwin to Adelaide. The road was so long and straight with no landmarks which is quite a sight when the only change between you and the horizon is the perception that the road is diminishing in width.

The amount of recent rainfall also had a profound effect on the landscape with swathes of grass and plantlife cropping up through what would typically just be red dirt. This was especially concentrated to the roadsides where water drains off the tarmac and meant that the new shrubbery attracted many feasting animals. Unfortunately, roadside + animals + road trains (200 ton, 36 wheeled trucks pulling 4 trailers) = roadkill. The majority of the kangaroos I have seen were not happily hopping around... However, we did manage to see many live animals in their natural habitats too, the aforementioned kangaroos, dingos, euros (cross breed of kangaroo and wallaby), wild horses, wild camels, lizards but predominantly lots and lots of flies.

First stop was Kings Canyon, one of many sacred Aboriginal sites I would encounter. It was was what I thought the Grand Canyon would be when I visited it earlier in the year. Kings was equally impressive and has managed to retain its true natural beauty. It has not been descended upon by tourist hoards and that is probably helped by the fact that that Alice Springs is much less of a tourist hub than Las Vegas. Once again the recent rainfall had influenced things and when we were there the waterholes were overflowing, vegetation was bountiful and there were even waterfalls flowing off the sheer cliff faces. We took all this in during a 10km walk around the rim of the canyon and down into its gorge.

After rehydrating (drinking more water in addition to the three litres I had already drained on the walk) we set off to make camp for the night. Brief stops to acquire alcohol and firewood were made. At the most isolated liquor store I have ever been in I purchased some brewed on the premises Fucking Good Port (I am not being coarse that was its brand name). Then we stopped at the side of the road to hatchet at some dead trees and drag enough firewood into the trailer to last us the night.

The camp itself was basic to say the least as we lay our sleeping bags and swags down and made a fire to keep away the various wild animals and beasties. A swag is basically a glorified roll mat so we had no shelter but admittedly there was not too much for us to shelter from. So we slept directly beneath an breathtaking night sky, the absence of artificial light making the Southern skies glow astoundingly bright. The early start, tiring walk, extreme heat and port combo made for a peaceful sleep until everyone was awoken at 5am by flies trying to crawl into their ears and up their noses.

I had been told previously that only fools voluntarily head to the outback in summer and I was beginning to see why. After making breakfast and clearing up camp we hit the road again and continued on our foray into the Northern Territory this time in search of Kata Tjuta. Also known as the Olgas, Kata Tjuta is another Aboriginal site and natural wonder consisting of many large domed rock formations.

We walked in and around these formations stopping along the way at several points of interest. Including ancient cave paintings dating back hundreds of years and also shown how these were created using materials we found along the way. Different colours of ochre rocks mixed with water give you a paint-type substance which can be used to draw but if you want it to last the ages then it must then be mixed with animal blood and fat. It is on this site that Aboriginal boys would come with their fathers to learn how to live off the land and the various practices required to ascend to manhood. Hunting, fishing, finding water, shelter and of course finger painting.

So after following the path to Aboriginal manhood we heading off again to their most world renowned and revered site Uluru (aka Ayers Rock). We visited some of the rocks most holy crevices, and heard about the ancestral spirits that the locals based their existence on, however it is difficult to grasp the fundamentals of their belief system as they do not allow outsiders to know any details. They only give you a taster by letting you in on the children's stories, which themselves seem pretty outlandish mostly concerning spirit animals obtaining a physical form to either wreak havoc and/or bring peace to a community. After this we heading to a great viewpoint to have a drink and take in a majestic sunset.

That night we camped we camped again this time sans fire due to our location within the national park, I did not want to bring up the reason for the fire the previous night being to keep away the creatures so kept quiet and tried to think positive every time I heard a scurry or a twig snap. Another early morning followed and we were up at 4am for sunrise to this time catch the sunrise over Uluru - again majestical.

That day we had the option to climb the rock or alternatively walk round. After the previous two days of guilt tripping that to climb the rock is to upset the oldest civilisation, culture and religion, I was torn as to which I would do. The climb itself when we arrive looked enticing as it was a sheer incline and would be an good achievement to conquer but my decision was made for me as the winds were to strong the park rangers were not allowing access to the summit. So instead set off on a 10k walk round biggest rock in the world, which itself was pretty cool.

After this it was another long long drive back to Alice Springs stopping off at some saltflats and for a dip in the Finke River (apparently the oldest in the world). All in all a great couple of days getting back to nature and a real eye opening insight into the Aboriginal culture. Over here Australians seem reluctant to discuss Aboriginals and it can seem like the country has very little history, but scratch beneath the surface and there is an abundance. However, I can understand that some of it is painful to be brought up. As I mentioned earlier about the Aboriginals I have come across on my trip being mostly hobos and drunks. It was explained to me that even as recently as the 1970's Australia had a scheme in existence to kill off the Aboriginal culture by taking, by force, all children and placing them in missions. As a result this 'Stolen Generation' has been raised with no connection to their forefathers culture but also have never successfully been integrated into modern Australian society. Now they are left in limbo unable to relate to either way of life, even struggling to come to terms with the English language as it has completely different noises and mouth movements from which they have evolved. This problem is endemic as the children of the Aboriginals are further suppressed. It is only now that the authorities are coming together to form solutions to these long standing problems to achieve proper societal integration and also reestablish a connection with the ancient cultures. On returning to Alice I most certainly view the locals from a different perspective than when I left only 3 days previous.

Homeward Bound

After getting the red eye greyhound from Sydney, I arrived in Melbourne at 7am decided to hit the ground running and get a job as quickly as possible. Due to hostel check-ins not being until noon I managed to have a job interview lined up before I had accommodation! I carried on job hunting in a similar vain for two days signing up for temp agencies and securing interviews where possible. However, after I reflected on my first interview I had a change of heart. Having taken stock I realised that since arriving in Melbourne I had been on autopilot and was actually no longer keen to work. Having spent time since being in Australia in the company of working travellers, I really was not envious of their situations and felt it would be a step backwards for me to go back to a student style life in a stopgap job. So after reflecting on this I weighed up my options as to what to do next...

Traveling on I realised also no longer tempted me. I've had my fill as a solo traveller, even though I've barely been alone since I left, it is very different travelling with good friends and journeying with transitional randoms. Fellow travellers whom are you best friends from two days then never see again. So made the decision to enjoy the rest of my time in Oz but to ultimately head home.

Felt a weight lift off my shoulders with this decision and must stress that I have had a fantastic experience for the last 3 months and I'm really glad I came away on my own, challenged myself and expanded my comfort zone. But in future travel I want to share experiences with great friends and loved ones and for now get back to reality.

So after a few wasted days of pointless employment search I started to enjoy the sights and sounds of Melbourne. I was shown around the streets of the central city by Captain Awesome a random chap who puts on a free daily tour and lives solely off the tips. He portrays an alternative history of Melbourne, and always came back to the fact that it was originally called Batmania (surely Gotham would have been more appropriate). Wandered around some really cool sites including alleyways full of graffiti, as the city used to have a real graffiti problem they now have designated streets set aside where everything, walls, pavement, bins are all covered in paint. Even saw a piece by Banksy...

Outside of the central area I have been down to St Kilda. By day walked from South Melbourne beach round the sands scattered with jellyfish and waters infested with them to St Kilda beach. The temperature was above 40°C and the water provided much needed cooling. So hot that I even passed an ice cream parlour that was closed due to the extreme temperatures!! That night broke records as the hottest night in the last one hundred years with a low temperature of 36°C. I have never felt anything like it in a room without air conditioning, constant sweats and a bone dry mouth and a constant thirst that was impossible to quench - although right now I can't imagine I'll be getting much sympathy from the Scots reading this.

St Kilda is also the trendy place to party and cruised round a few bars there which were pretty cool and caught some good live bands. Also, wandered around Queen Victoria markets and perused the standard tat that was on sale. Everything from Aussie souvenirs, Ugg boots to fresh meat and veg. Ended up catching up with my cousin Andy and his family for a BBQ as well which was great to see them and also good get some proper food in me... Steak and sausages!!
Now heading up to Alice Springs for a jaunt to Uluru (aka Ayers Rock)...

Lets Go Surfing

Eventually made it in to central Sydney to do the touristy thing after a couple of weeks procrastinating on the beach. A really beautiful city with tree lined streets which give it a less intense city feel. The landmarks are of course fabulous with the Opera House being one of the most impressive structures I have come across, I always think most world-famous sites only look impressive from the angle at which most of the postcards show them but the Opera House is a visual spectacle from which ever vantage point you find yourself in. The Harbour bridge is also very impressive and I walked across it and enjoyed spectacular views of the harbour and the city. Kings Cross's 'legendary' Coca-Cola sign (“as much a Sydney icon as LA's Hollywood sign” according to Lonely Planet) is little more than a pimped up billboard. Botanical gardens were nice and similar to Central Park in NY offer a great escape from the bustling city, so much so that you get a surprise when you emerge again to find yourself in the heart of a metropolis. Whilst on this jaunt round the city I had a pie at the renowned food van, Harry's Cafe du Wheels, although enjoyable it was not a patch on a scotch pie from Scotland.

Hogmanay back home usually does not get going until ten o'clock and that proved to be the case here as well the only difference being back home it is pm here am. In Sydney everybody is up early in an attempt to get the best spot in which to view the fireworks from Harbour Bridge. After being awoken at 6am by my overeager dorm mates as they scurried off to find what must have been the optimal location, I managed to get a few more hours sleep before setting off in search of a good location. We managed to find a great place called Observatory Hill Park which was pretty full when we got there around noon but we managed to find a good spot. It was a real festival atmosphere aided by the free and BYOB location and although it seemed full when we got there the people kept coming.

So we set about our picnics which we had brought. Some more extravagant than others (Moi - muffins, biscuits, sweets and crisps, Friend's mum – whole cooked chicken and sandwiches). We also set about our selection of beers, wine and spirits from around the world. Whoever had the idea of starting drinking games at 4pm was lacking foresight, as were all the people who joined in!! So having peaked around 9pm with the pre-firework fireworks, we hung in there until midnight. An incredible fireworks display over the bridge and really in every direction you looked something was exploding in a burst of light. Carried on without rest for a entire 20 minutes and must be the most impressive display I have ever seen. After this we grabbed our things and headed for the exit towards our beds and an embarrassingly early New Year's night but a thoroughly enjoyable one nonetheless.

The next day I thought I would take in Ne'er day walk which turned into a mammoth 10k trek around the northern shore of Sydney harbour. Through a preserved national park which at times felt to me like the middle of the bush and past lots of secluded beaches. Beaches only accessible to insane people on a walk or the more rational yuppies on their boat who moor their big boats and motor their smaller boats to the beach the day. Secluded beaches have their perks but I always thought their downfall was be the inability to get an ice cream while there. Not any more as these beaches were served by the an ice cream boat. This nautical floating ice cream van even had its own ice cream van music to let the children know it was time to tap mum and dad for some cash.

Also went on a scramble adventure round from Manly beach round the rocks and through a tunnel to the next beach to the north, Freshwater. Lots of crabs but luckily they were more scared of us than we were of them, at least that is the impression we gave off!! We then did a similar scramble to try and get to the next beach but lost interest. If we had carried on up the Northern beaches for a couple more hours we would have eventually come across Palm beach aka Summer Bay aka the home of Home and Away but alas it was not to be, so no Alf sightings to be speak of.

However, I did get my Aussie animal fix when we visited Sydney Aquarium and Wildlife World where there was an array of cool species to take in. Sharks, stingray, platypus, dugongs, jellyfish, crocodiles, koalas, possums, spiders, wallabies, kangaroos and much more. I even managed to identify a big fish I came across while snorkeling as a giant grouper.

With some Christmas money I treated myself to a Surfing lesson. So board shorts on and after only ten minutes of theory on the beach we hit the high seas. The first wave in I caught was perfection on a surfboard as I was up standing (Hanging ten as they say round these parts) and cruised right into the beach. Unfortunately, after this surprisingly good start it was downhill. I regressed badly and by the end I was unable to stand. I put this down to tiredness, as to get out of the shore there is a lot of effort expended in the arms through paddling. Then once out after waiting and waiting for a good wave when it comes you have to get up to equal speed again through paddling and once beside it do a press up and squat thrust motion in one fluid movement to stand up. This is hard enough without having cramped dead arms from all the paddling. By the end of the session I was unable to do any push ups without getting off balance and ended up wiping out most of the time. Also quite early on in the sessions I was hit square in the jaw by a rogue surfboard, and also halfway through my leg strap snapped off and I had to change rides – which was hard after becoming so attached to my first board. Would love to keep it up but I am heading down to Melbourne which is not the best for surf beach so it may have to wait. Please note the above picture is merely an artistic representation of what I assume I looked like!!

Travel Faux Pas # 3,859

Purchase a nice $5 pizza for dinner before realising you do not have access to an oven in which to cook it.. Microwaved pizza = soggy cardboard.

White Christmas

I was dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know... but we will come to that. After a four hour flight from Perth in which I was stuck by the window next to the worst case of obesity I've ever encountered, his folds were encroaching on my personal space above and even below the arm rest. This I could put up with but then he started snoring, the loudest rumbling possible by a human, each inhalation was like a mini-earthquake. So much so that I got many pitying smirks from the other passengers. After arriving in Sydney and finding accomodation to be prohibitively expensive over Christmas and New Year, I ventured out of the city and have found a place in Manly. It is a half-hour ferry ride from central Sydney and the ferry itself affords the some of the best views of Sydney's Harbour Bridge and its Opera House.

Manly itself is a great base with my hostel being only one hundred metres from the beach, which is filled with surfers and volleyball courts but of course the majority of people are just lazing around. Been able to do some great snorkeling here as well. The beach is lined with lots of bars and restaurants which run along side a promenade and have spent most of the build up to Christmas frequenting these and catching up with friends both old and new.

When Christmas day did arrive as expected it was not white but unexpectedly it was overcast and grey. Was able to make it to the beach in the morning and watched a lot of surfers getting to grips with their brand new boards. But then the torrential rain came and did not cease for the rest of the day. Luckily we had decided upon a traditional British dinner instead of a typical Aussie barbecue. And in amongst all the drugged up chavs (I am pretty certain a few people had cocaine for their Christmas dinner, followed by ecstacy for pudding), I managed to find a great bunch of people to spend the day with, including a few talented cooks and who did themselves proud and whipped up two massive turkeys with all the trimmings. It was remarkably similar to a Christmas day back home as everyone ate too much and asleep in front of the TV.

On boxing day went to Watson's Bay and watched the start of the iconic Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race, which was a real spectacle. Never seen so many vessels all cramped together, and initially did think the powerboats had an unfair advantage until we realised that these were merely spectators racing along side the course rather than actual competitors. From there went to Bondi and spent the remainder of the day supping schooners of beers and had a bargain $10 steak which was divine.
In movie news, just been see Avatar and was struck by the remarkable resemblance between its star Sam Worthington and footballing genius and general great guy Xabi Alonso - I have certainly never seen them in the same room together!?! And if watching a film with a Xabi Alonso lookalike was not enough, they sell the greatest ice cream known to man over here - The Maxibon. It was a sad day a couple of years ago when they stopped retailing in the UK, but it was trully great to bump into such an old and trusted friend over here.

Down Under

Regarding the last posts cliffhanger ending, the plug holes and toilets seem to drain clockwise down here but as I did not conduct a similar test under the same laboratory conditions back home I'm afraid I cannot draw any definitive conclusions.

Outside of the bathrooms, Perth is a very pleasant city - modern, clean and with a relaxed aura. On my first day I had a good ole city walk, passing through Perth's various cultural centres, impressive skyscrapers and also lots and lots of green spaces. I ended up in Kings Park which offered great views across the cityscape. Perth has an impressive skyline, although I'm glad to report I've not yet seen any domed structures to rival my native Perth's Bell's Sports Centre (2nd largest in the UK after London's Millennium Dome).

Overwhelming initial impression is how expensive everything is. The equivalent of £4 a pint seems extortionate when the same money fed me well for an entire day in Asia. Also different is the type of traveller, my hostel is full of long-termers, folks who have stayed here for months on end, some even locals of Perth who cannot not afford to rent or buy an apartment. I'm not sure staying in a rip off backpackers hostel is the most economically efficient route around this problem but how would I know. But I like Australia everything is very easy and seems to be a hybrid of the UK and USA, many big cars and trucks but they have lots of points of reference that are familiar to the British eye.

For example, I've been doing my food shops in Woolworths, which is a supermarket over here but with similar branding to the late British institution - unfortunately they do not sell pick n' mix. It has been strange getting into the habit of cooking cheaply for myself again after eight weeks of dining out for every meal. I am reminded of my student days every time I shop and cook, trying hard to keep costs down but not wanting to eat pasta and ketchup every night,. It's tough when your only variation is the shape of the pasta used. You can try to convince yourself that bowties taste different to penne which taste different to spaghetti but you are fighting a losing battle.

With this new found economic condition in mind I decided to use my skill set to earn some money in a pool competition. So after three beers to get me to my perfect place on the 'Beer Parabola' (Y-axis is 'pool ability', X-axis is 'number of beers', not enough = unrelaxed, to many = uncoordinated), I walked away with $50. I do not see this as a long-term job prospect but it help get me through the weekend.

Another oddity round these parts is that Australian Burger King is called Hungry Jacks. I am told this is because the original Aussie Burger King, probably a solitary burger van in the outback, refused all offers of compensation to change its name, so Hungry Jacks was formed. I recall a similar story with a sausage vendor in South Africa called McDonalds, but cannot remember the outcome, I hope its true and means McDonalds usual World Cup advertising will have to be more imaginative.

In other news, and not many people from the UK can say this, I went to Scarborough in December and it was sun drenched. A massive beach teeming with surfers and not a tea dance in sight. Also, met some old friends from Perth, Scotland in Perth, Australia which was odd.

I've been torn the last week as to what to do with myself with Christmas and New Year on the horizon and lots of talk of the job situation in Perth being illiquid. So I made the decision to sacrifice the West Coast and head East for a classic festive time in and around Sydney. Slightly disappointed that I only got a week in Western Australia but as ever there is too much to see and unfortunately I can't see it all so a week is better than nothing. But now I am uber-excited about the prospect of New Year in Sydney and hopefully meeting up with a few friends for Christmas.

So my last remaining days West were slightly hurried as I tried to squeeze in as much as possible which included Fremantle, a sleepy place south of Perth with a big music, arts and cultural scene. As I walked past the oldest building in Freo, The Roundhouse, where everyday at 1pm they fire a canon and drop a timeball so the ships in dock have an accurate time to set their clocks by. Just as I was looking at my watch (12:53), i was nabbed by a lady who worked there an made gunnery assistant for the day. I was charged with firing the canon on her say so, and at as 1pm came around I pressed the big red button!! Almost deafened myself and covered everyone with smoke. I was warned afterward that I was now covered in explosive material so if I'm flying anywhere in the next couple of days I may be in for some awkward questions at airport security. Luckily I've got my gunnery assistant certificate in case any such problems arise. After this I walked directly into a statue of a man standing on an amplifier, with a large microphone and larger lunch-box. It was a statue of Bon Scott, the original singer for AC/DC who although born in Kirriemuir spent much of his life in Fremantle. There was even Bon Scott themed tours on offer visiting his old homes, schools, prison, cemetery and more!!

I also visited Cottesloe beach which was picturesque with a sea full of kite surfers – which looked like a lot of fun. I stayed there until the evening as before I left I wanted to see one of the West coasts legendary sunsets over the Indian Ocean. And I was not let down, probably the best sunset I've ever seen, but as I was being snap-happy my camera unfortunately ran out of battery before the sky turned its fantastic shade of orangey-pink.

Currently writing this in Perth airport. My flight to Sydney is at 6am so ingeniously to save a little money I decided to forgo a nights accommodation in favour of the departures lounge carpet. It's presently 1am so I have a fair wait but luckily I've got The Times Book of the Decade ('The Road' by Cormac McCarthy) and The Times Album of the Decade ('Kid A' by Radiohead) to keep me sufficiently entertained...

Movin' On

This week has been one of transition with much travelling, three new countries and a new continent. First stop was Penang, an largish island just off the East coast of the Peninsular Malaysia. Traversed the Penang bridge to get there, one of the longest bridges in Asia at thirteen and a half kilometres. Penang turned out to be a very likable place with everything of interest and necessity within walking distance. It is very apparent that the British Empire has had a marked impact on the region, with place names such as Georgetown and Butterworth sprinkled in amongst Batu Ferringhi and Tanjung Bungah. The whole place has a real colonial feel to it which was a shift from Thailand where it felt like the Western invasion was a lot more recent and to some extent ongoing. Even my lodging (pictured), had a certain charm to it. After a quiet couple of days here I decided to move south to Kuala Lumpar (KL).

Unbeknownest to me, I was late for my bus to KL as I had not realised that Malaysia is one hour ahead of Thailand. So for two days I had been living one hour out of sync and had not realised. That just goes to show how little I have been relying on time and how few appointments I have to keep - it quite refreshing. Fortunately, nothing runs on time over here and I was still able to catch my bus... and what a bus!! I had expected the usual sub-megabus experience but was confronted with a monstrosity from the future, a huge bus and with only 20 seats, each of which could fully recline and each of which had a functioning automatic electronic massager!! A five hour bus journey has never felt so short.

I arrived in KL to find that the hostels I had earmarked to stay in were fully booked so ended up in a real hovel. Not wanting to hang around I headed straight out and straight to the only landmark in KL I was familiar with. The Petronas Towers stand at 450 metres and used to be the tallest in the world - you may recall them from the film 'Entrapment' starring Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta Jones. They are a shtunning shight and shtill the tallest twin-towers in the world. I approached them just before sunset, so was able to enjoy them in both daylight and then lit up when the darkness had settled in. During this wait I talked to a German chap, Flo, who had had a similar plan and he was also here for a quick stopover on his way back from a year in Australia. So ended up grabbing dinner and a beer with him, and getting the some good Germanic Oz advice.

My foot was still really aching from barefoot walking on sharp matter, so second day in KL I could not do my usual wander around aimlessly until I stumble upon something of interest. I was really at a loss of how I was going to spend my day, find a quiet cafe?!? But then I saw my saviour a bright pink and black bus, the city hop-on hop-off tour bus. And I quite literally hopped on! It gave me a much better insight into what the city has to offer and I hopped off feeling much more positive about KL than I had done. When you're backpacking in a city you generally stay in the cheap sections so if you don't make the effort to get further afield you can just leave with a real negative perspective of a place. That night ended up in Chinatown and feasted on some authentic duck pancakes at a roadside/middle of the road cafe.

But once again it was time to move on and it has to be said that the bus to Singapore was a real struggle without an electronic massager, it's amazing how you miss things you didn't know existed but a day before... After a journey without stress relief, me and my aching muscles were eventually put down in the centre of Singapore without a inkling as to where I was or where I was going. I was looking for a map or information on a place to stay but with no luck, fortunately however the locals were unbelievable friendly and technologically equipped. So two minutes after speaking to a Singaporese girl with an i-phone and I was winging my way to my latest abode.

Clean, busy and filled with bars and restaurants, Singapore really has a feeling of a place whose time is now. I was in the city for less than 12 hours and that proved a blessing in desguise as although there is plenty to do and much to see, it is an incredibly expensive place. I started off in Little India and had great vegetarian Indian meal, then walked down through the CBD and Chinatown. Everyplace had a different feel to it and was full of different people. Little India filled with Indian/Malaysians, CBD filled with urban professional suits of all nationalities, Chinatown filled with orientals. Clarke Quay was also an astounding place, covered with restraunts and bars at every turn. You could eat in a different restaurant every night for years without growing bored and I got the impression that people do just that. It also has a very impressive skyline especially afterdark. I got a real buzz about Singapore and it's probably the first place I've been that I could actually see myself living. A spotless and modern city that although big does not have the often isolating vastness of the likes of NYC or London.

The next day on the flight out of Singapore I was given a corker of a seat by the emergency exit, but with extra legroom, comes extra responsibility!! Had to pass a test, and confirm that I was willing to accept the burden of opening the door in the event of an emergency. I took to this head on and fell asleep for the majority of the flight. So now you find me in Perth, Western Australia. It's the first time I've been in the southern hemisphere, so I'm going to find out which direction the toilet water drains away, for the results of this test see the next post.

Garry Was A Diver But He Was Never Down

This week I've mostly been scuba diving, relaxing and partying...

First off I spent four glorious days learning to scuba dive in yet another paradisaical island, this time Ko Tao, and now I'm a PADI certified Open Water diver. This means I can now dive to depths of up to 18m anywhere in the world, and although it was primarily a learning experience, it was also a great fun. Being back in a classroom, receiving homework and even sitting an exam were novelties that I doubt will be repeated often on this trip. It was both interesting and essential to learn though, as the equipment was brand new to me and and the dangers faced very real. In fact the scared the bejesus out of me discussing lung expansion injuries, decompression sickness (the bends) and of course plain old-fashioned drowning.

But after all the theory, the practice was immense. After a quick session in the swimming pool on day one, where breathing underwater for fifty minutes felt very unnatural, we were let loose in the ocean at the dive sites of Twin Rocks, Mango Bay and White Rock. It remarkable how quickly any awkwardness subsided and by the end of course everyone was doing somersault entries from boat to water and then taking advantage of their weightlessness to do front/back flips and even some 'Matrix' style kung fu.

In between the larking around there was also a fair few fish to be seen including clown fish (Nemo), barracudas, boxfish and also lots of cool coral and sea cucumbers. No sharks as yet but hopefully I'll get to use my new skills when I get to Oz.

On the final day after we had all been certified, myself and a few fellow divers were going to grab some lunch when an intense but friendly guy on a motorbike pulled up offering to take us to his mothers restaurant... It turned out my dive buddies had met this character Zingo (surprisingly not short or ginger and knew nothing about the inner working of a Landrover Discovery!!) the previous night and he was a Burmese waiter in a local Indian restaurant. We decided to take him up on his offer and must have walked for 30 minutes down dirt tracks until we calm to a 'tea house', which constituted the main meeting point for the Burmese community on Ko Tao. After Zingo sorted us out with drinks, he joined us at the table where we were each given a bowl of rice and then plate after plate of food started to arrive. Beef curry, squid, exotic salads, noodle stirfry, potato soup and we all helped ourselves. All this time 'Sceptical Weir' here had been thinking that we may be getting swindled and was expecting an extortionate bill but when the time came to pay, Zingo refused all our offers of money. An insanely generous act -reaffirmed by his Burmese roots, as we in the West use Thailand as a cheap labour force well Thailand in turn looks to Burma for its cheap labour. We arranged to stop by a bar he worked in that night but unfortunately there was no sign of him...

That night the whole group had a few celebratory drinks and the combination of alcohol, fire and my easily influenceable nature led to the following video...

From Ko Tao I headed South to Ko Pha Ngan to meet back up with Andy and Greg whom I'd been with in Phuket and Phi Phi. We stayed at a great place Mai Pen Rai bungalows which translates as 'no worries'. When we were there on our secluded beach at our perfect bungalow with amazing sea, beach, and jungle views we had no worries but the trip to and from the camp was a different story. It involved an hour journey off the beaten track only suitable for 4x4 vehicles which we had to make in a regular taxi. We had to do the trip four times in total and it never got any easier but these things all add to the experience.

The only time we really left our relaxed surrounding was for the legendary full moon party in Haad Rin, where 20,000+ partygoers descend onto a couple of kms stretch of beach and dance from sunset until sunrise. When we arrived it was pure insanity and took me a few minutes to be able to close my gaping mouth. Such a sensation overload - the music, the number of people, the colours as everyone was covered from head to toe in glow paint. An incredible sight and a great night, so good I lost my flip-flops.

Current injuries include a nasty knock on the head on said death trip back after the full moon party and I've got something stuck in my foot which is making me limp around. I also overstayed my welcome in Thailand by a couple of days so had to leave quick sharp, and after a hellish twenty-four hour transfer I now find myself in Penang, Malaysia - smelly, hungry and tired. Apart from that it's all roses...