Island(s) In The Sun

Fear not, I've not been in a tuk-tuk accident and I'm not rotting in a Thai prison, I've just been a lazy beach bum for the last week and have been unable to find cheap internet access, but the adventure does continue...

From Chiang Mai I (extravagantly) flew to Phuket but unfortunately I was twenty years too late. The coastal resorts are now reminiscent of the Spanish Costas, filled with British and Irish pubs and overflowing with herds of drunken holiday makers. Somewhat fortuitously I was staying inland in Phuket town, away from the crowds and from where I could get the cheap local buses to the beaches of the Andaman sea. These buses were almost slower than walking, stopping at every lamppost and every palm tree en-route. However, the hostel proved a great sanctuary and it's large lounge area provided an ideal setting for meeting people, so after a couple of slow days there I decided to move on to the island of Ko Phi Phi with some new friends.

Ko Phi Phi is paradise, such an idyllic place but once again I could only imagine what it would be like ten years ago before it was set upon by the masses and ravaged by the tsunami. Although from my perspective their was little evidence of superficial scarring, as it appears recovery has been fast and now there is very little sign of damage. In fact I struggle to imagine the beaches being more golden. On the island itself there was no motorised vehicles apart from boats, which gave the place a very mellow feel.

Days here were mostly spent chilling in the sun, with occasional breaks to the sea to cool down or do a little snorkelling. Nights were spent in the various beach side bars drinking and dancing into the early hours. There was scope for more productive activities as well and their was a walk to one of the highest points on the island, from where you could really take in the majesty of Phi Phi Don and it's smaller neighbouring island Phi Phi Ley. So good in fact that I did it twice once on a morning and second at sunset, the views were incredible.

Phi Phi Ley is most famous for Maya Bay (aka the beach from the movie 'The Beach'). We took some other travellers advice and struggled out of bed at 6am to get there before the crowds. We ended up being the first boat there and dock our long tail directly onto the beach, which we had to ourselves for an hour before it started to get busier – it was paradise. Also, went on a boat trip to various point around the two islands to some of the best snorkelling spots, some of which we had to kayak to. Places of such enticing names as shark point, monkey bay and Vikings cave - needless to say I saw no sharks, monkeys or indeed Vikings.

After the tough decision to leave and get some momentum back into the trip a few of us moved onto Railay, a coastal area on the mainland but once again only reachable by boat. It was yet another fantastic place, a hippy town where every bar is a reggae bar – I've heard enough Bob Marley in the last couple of weeks to last a lifetime. It's also the rock climbing capital of Thailand and I had planned to try it out until we checked out the route to a popular viewpoint. It was a sheer incline up soft rocks with trees and roots for grips. We only had our flip-flops on so we took the decision to ascend barefoot, such an exhilarating experience and yet again the views from high ground around here are mesmerising. The next day decided to do it again and this time descended the other side down to a hidden lagoon, it was hard going and we passed a lot of people who turned back, wisely deciding it was too hard. Scrambled down the cliff face the monkeys in the trees above impeding our progress by throwing fruit and generally putting us off with their howls. But sweat drenched and with hand and feet covered in red muck, we made it to the lagoon which was a pool of water too dirty so swim in and surrounded by muddy clay. Previous visitors had moulded various creations from this clay which lined the cavernous exteriors but I was too tired to practise my learned pottery skills, so regretfully didn't contribute to the clan of strange creatures.

After this achievement the desire to do a packaged rock climb had faded. We were feeling pretty chuffed with ourselves and adventurous, so next we decided to swim round from the beach to a cave further down the coast. On our return to the beach all the monkeys had descended from the cliffs and were running a mock, eating everything in sight. When anyone tried to feed the babies they would often be set upon by a hoard of larger monkeys. One of the best days of the journey so far and was followed by yet another cracking night in a another reggae bar, playing pool and drinking Chang (or Thai wife-beater as I've christened it).

Had to move on from Railay and I'm now on the east coast in the Gulf of Thailand, after a whistle stop tour of Ko Samui via Krabi and Surat Thani bus stations yesterday, I'm now in Ko Tao to do some scuba diving.

(Chiang) My Way

I've spent the last few days chilling in Chiang Mai. It's a great place and although a city it feels much smaller as I'm staying in the old city which is only a square mile and rests inside a walled moat. Also, inside the walls there are height restrictions on all buildings so it has avoided becoming another highrise filled town centre. This allows for lots of great rooftop bars just outside this zone which offer great views over the town. Additionally, the most popular modes of transport are mopeds and bicycles, which add to the quaint feel.

The day after the trek I went for a much needed Thai massage, which was amazing. Two hours long for the equivalent of £6. It was painful at times as she walked on top of me and I limped out. But a couple of hours after once the muscles calmed down I felt great.

Also, climbed up to Doi Suthep, a temple the locals say if you have not visited you've not visited Chiang Mai. The story behind it dates back hundreds of years when some monks put a buddha relic on an elephants back and let it bound around. It did so for 3 days until it came upon a place circled, trumpeted and lay down dead. This was where they decided to build their temple. You have to climb the 309 steps to reach the pagodas and when you reach the top you are treated to grand vistas across Chiang Mai.

Had a great chillout day at a rooftop pool with a few peeps who were staying at my hostel, and provided the first time I've been fully able to cool down in a couple of weeks. Really nice to be able to jump in a cool pool when I so wished. As we left we walked right into a market selling all sorts of appetisers - so grabbed some sushi and fried chicken for dinner. The food over here is to die for, there are steetstalls on every corner selling various wares. Fresh fruit is a favourite so it's easy to pick up pineapple or watermelon for breakfast. There also big into their meats on sticks, or will make you a stirfry infront of your eyes.

With this in mind and after too many people insisted I must go I decided to yield and take a Thai cookery class, and I'm so glad I did. To start our instructor, Ai, took us on a tour of the local food market tour and explained many of the stalls and the interested foods on offer. For example, horse pee eggs and dragon fruit. In the kitchen she taught us to make spring rolls, green curry, pad thai, hot and spicy soup, and banana pancakes. Not to blow my own trumpet but it was some of the best Thai food I've tasted so far!!

On my final day, I was just messing around and preparing to leave and I looked in on the temple next door to my hostel that i've walked by everday. I went in and it was my easily favourite so far. This was due to Wat Phra Sing having a peaceful garden area at the back with lots of wise Buddhist sayings attached to every tree.

Really liked it Chiang Mai, there is so much to do there and I didn't do half of it... but must keep on truckin' so flying down to Phuket to see the islands.

Ball Of Confusion

As I aimlessly wandered the streets of Chiang Mai I came across this...

It's called sepak takraw and is a popular sport in Thailand. Even after my many summers of 'head tennis' with my Dad, Brother and neighbours - in the back garden, a rope between two clothes poles and a court mapped out in spray paint on the grass - I didn't feel competent enough to ask for a game...

In other news, my quiet night turned into a grand nightout with my trek buddies, very much aided by energy boost from vodka and red bulls. I'm staying in a 6 bed dorm with two girls and on my way home I came over all good samaritan and brought back some Thai streetkids for the extra beds. I woke up bolt upright at 7am the next morning and the kids are gone, I srcambled around checking my wallet - luckily everything was there and they didn't rob us. It took a good 10 minutes to reallise that I would never do such a insane thing and it had all just been a vivid dream!! This made even more sense when someone later told me that red bull in Thailand contains small traces of LSD... I think I'll be sticking to coke for a while (a-cola, not cocaine)!!

Star Trekkin'

Get out of the City I said. Well, I certainly did that...

As planned I got the train to Chiang Mai with a Bostonian guy Lee who I met in Bangkok. Twas an good journey but 'sleeper' may be false advertising. A fluorescent lamp inches from my face and the constant chugga-chugging, do not a good nights sleep make (probably the 3rd worst nights sleep of my life). It was also 2 hours late but when that makes a 14 hour journey 16 hours, it's small change really.

Lee was booked on a trek for the next three days on the slopes of Doi Inthanon, Thailands highest peak, and as i had no firm plans I decided to join him. Phoned the trekking company when we arrived, they asked where I was and what I was wearing (I know, kinky!!), and within 5 minutes a moped arrived, I was plopped on the back and whisked away to their office. I've found that as soon as Thai people get a whiff of a money making opportunity they will go to extreme lengths close the deal.

It was an early start the next day and was tired from the sleeper so had an quiet night in expectation. In the morning I was picked up by a songtaew full of fellow trekkers from around the world – American Lee, a trio of cool Canadian girls, a couple of girls from Uterecht, a couple from Hannover, two guys from Mallorca, and our two Thai guides. Pai, the sole English speaking guide was decked out in an Obama '08 t-shirt, baggy jeans and a pair of chuck taylors. He did remove the Chucks for the trekking but only to put on his flip-flops!! After a brief stop at the market for our guides to buy the raw ingredients from which they made all of our meals, we were on our way.

First stop after a long drive into the wilderness was bamboo rafting. Certainly not a thrill ride, more of a slow and lazy meander down the river, all the while getting a very wet bum. The rafts were then completely dismantled and shipped back up the hill, to again be reassembled for the next descents.

After this was a three hour trek to our camp for the night. It was hard going in the extreme heat and humidity. I thought the 5 peaks would have stood me in good stead but this was really tough - sweated through t-shirt and shorts within five minutes! The terrain also made it hard going and I did curse the travel agent for saying trainers would be a-okay, but when the guides are in flips and everyone is in the same boat you can't complain too much.

The sight of a glorious waterfall beside which was stationed a semi-permanent camp for us to stay the night couldn't have come too soon. Showering in that waterfall is one of the most refreshing experiences of my life. In the evening we sat round the fire and Pai serenaded us with his take on a few Bob Dylan and Neil Young classics – both amazing and hysterical in equal measure. Also, found out he is a Muay Thai kickboxer on the side so a talented individual but not one to be trifled with. When our guides disappeared into the forest for 15 minutes, I thought they were just collecting firewood but returned with frogs, crabs, fish, snakes all of which they had caught and most of which they proceeded to cook on the fire. It was all a bit 'I'm a celebrity'!



After the second worst night of sleep I can remember, we set off further up the trails and via another waterfall carved a path to Prang Ma Oh a village of the Karen tribespeople. Greeted by a angry dog with an axe wound over it's left eye (apparently it had stolen food or killed a chicken from a neighbouring village and this punishment was handed out) and ant infested sleeping quarters, no body in the group was relishing the prospect of a night there. I thought no electricity or other creature comforts (apart from creatures that is - dogs, cats, bulls, pigs, roosters, chickens), would make for an interesting night, other people in the group had stronger feelings. At one point a leaving committee was almost formed which I was dead against. It would have been a incredibly disrespecful to these people if we can't live one night they way they do 365 days of the year. But fortunately we managed to quash this line of thought. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

Thank Buddha we had playing cards, and found out that the only money the village recieves from these treks is through the drinks they sell the trekkers. So we set about replenishing the village finances with much relish. One of the villagers had to keep going to the next village to collect more alcohol - it was all very surreal. Again we got a fire going and this time there was a Thai harp doing the rounds... it's quite a piercing instument when played well and ten times worse when played badly and it was nice to find out that my musical inabilities are universal! Even though, all of this was followed by the numero uno worst nights sleep in the history of darkness, it was probably the highlight of the trek. Making the most out of a bad situation and definitely character building stuff.

The next day we made the descent back to civilisation, stopping briefly at an elephant farm. The ride was scary, smelly and generally a horrific experience. I'm not a big animal lover to start with but this was horrible. Those big dirty animals took us on a circuit of steep inclines, holding on with white knuckles - it was scarier than any rollercoaster I've been on, I guess the unpredictability of nature adds a new dimension. Also, the elephant took a dislike to us and insited on sucking up dirt in it's trunk and blowing it all over us. Only redeeming factor for me was to see the native Thai elephant rider in a Newcastle Utd strip!!

Really good adventure but with too much hanging around, it was probably a two day trek streched out to last three days. That did though provide the basis to bond with my fellow trekkers and after you've shared a single person mosquito net with someone, played hours and hours of cards, and shared so many other experiences it's easy to consider them friends. So despite some ropey moments it was a true experience, I was able to experience true Thailand and that's what I'm here for...

So just back and going to hang around Chiang Mai for a few more days. I'm aching and (after the three sleeps from hell) very tired but nothing a good nights sleep and tomorrow's thai massage won't cure.

Bang

In Bangkok, hungover and tired - probably the way it should be.

The flight here from Egypt was great, I slept for the vast duration and everytime I did stir I was comforted with images of Glasgow (including my old flat on Bentinck Street), as they showed the movie “Stone of Destiny” - Robert Carlyle in Arabic, classic! The hostel is great, nice and clean, but realised on my initial scout about that I'm in the centre of the red light district. I'm getting offered 'massages' everywhere I go, but I don't think it's my shoulders they want to rub!!

After my first experience of Thai food, a green curry which blew my head off, I decided to venture to the Khao San Road - backpacking epicenter of the world and so called decompression chamber for South East Asia. Very easy to get chatting to people around here and a few drinks shortly turned in to night on the tiles with an English guy Dan, an F1 mechanic and the who changes Rubens Barrichello's front left wheel in the pitlanes of F1. My first tuk-tuk ride was an experience as we headed to a club in a multi-storey car park with the driver doing wheelies at every opportunity!!

Hungover sightseeing the next day was a struggle, managed to see Wat Pho, a temple and home of the huge 'Reclining Buddha' who has a reassuring cheeky smirk on his golden face. Also, attempted to see the Grand Palace but my shorts were too short - the Thai security guards didn't appreciate my attempt to flash my calves at the Emerald Buddha! Quick change of plan and onto the Golden Mount which offers breathtaking views of the city, but sadly closed 30 minutes before I got there. Back to the hostel (via McDonalds for remedies) with my tail between my legs for an early night.

Had much better luck the next day and took a James Bond style river boat to the Grand Palace (this time kitted out in long trousers). Walked until my legs were sore and ended up off the beaten track in some strange side streets with no other westerners in sight, a healthy mixture of fascination and fear at the unknown. The temples and palaces are all very striking and their architecture is really interesting but there are so many it's hard not to become blase. In the evening had a few beers with a mixture of national travellers – German, Oz and USA – which again ended scooting around the deserted streets of Bangkok after dark in an overloaded tuk-tuk – good times and very reassuring to find how easy it is to meet like minded people. But feeling like I've had my fill of city living so heading north on the sleeper train to Chiang Mai.

Walk Like An Egyptian

First impressions of Cairo were formed on the trip from airport to hostel and were primarily traffic based. Cars four abreast in each direction on a road only wide enough for two lanes, with every car aggressively carving it's own winding path seemingly unable to stay on any predictable route and merrily beeping it's horn for no discernible purpose. This first impression was generally applicable to everything about Cairo – there is no system but somehow everything works.

I survived the deathrace and was hoping to find sanctuary in my hostel only to be greeted firstly by the oldest lift in the world and as the lift reached the top floor (ping!), stray cats everywhere (they are sacred in Egypt so nobody even attempts to exterminate them). It's an open-air hostel on the top floor of a highrise and them crazy cats roam free covering everything in their sacred shit. But hey, beggars can't be choosers. So onto the room, luckily there were no cats present but it was a bit squiffy, manky holy sheets and rancid pillows. I didn't bring a sleeping bag but I did improvise and pack a single duvet cover for this very situation, and boy am I glad I did! Slept terribly the first night due to both fear of moggies and persistent horn tooting, so it was inconsequential when the call to prayer from the local mosque pierced through at sunrise (4:30). Got up and showered the next day thinking things can't get much worse...

Decided to hit the streets and get my bearings, aware that the Egyptian Museum was close by. Within 20 minutes a 'friendly stranger', Omar, had accosted our fresh faced traveler helpfully showing him the way to said museum. Unfortunately the signs we were passing contradict Omar so when we coincidentally arrive at his shop I find myself with two options: A. Enter and have my money charmed out of my pocket (or worse), or B. Leg it across the aforementioned 8-lane expressway. And that's how I learned to cross the roads in Cairo (or walk like an Egyptian, if you will).

Things have vastly improved since then... the world renowned Egyptian Museum was fascinating, if slightly daunting with over 200,000 artifacts. Too much to tackle alone and tours were too expensive for my budget so I improvised and tagged on the back of the group with the loudest and most flamboyant tour guide. Unfortunately, no cameras were allowed inside so I can't share with you the artistry of King Tut's solid gold burial mask or the royal mummies complete with hair, teeth and fingernails, I can only attest to their impressiveness.

I've also visited the Sphinx, the Pyramids of Giza (largest) and Saqqara (oldest). They are a testament to the engineering brilliance of the Ancient Egyptians and the pyramid of Khufu remains the only surviving member of the seven wonders of the ancient world - quite breathtaking. Although, It can be somewhat hard to revel in their majesty with so many touts and scamsters around, offering everything from papyrus inkings, mock keffiyeh (head-dress) and camel rides. You have to be very firm with them, 'La shukran' seems to work better than 'No thanks' and definitely better than 'Non merci' as I witnessed a powerless Frenchman lifted atop a camel against his will... I think he had to pay to get down!!

Many other sights have been taken in including the river Nile, some mosques and the Citadel of Saladin (who was the nemisis of Richard the Lionheart during the Crusades) – this made me think of 'Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves' but more so of 'Robin Hood: Men in Tights'. I wandered the alleyways of Khan el-Khalili this morning a huge market bazaar selling everything under the sun – which reminded me of 'Aladdin'. And also passed by The American University In Cairo, which sounds like the less scary more cerebral sequel to 'An American Warewolf in London'.


Enjoyed Cairo despite getting lots of hassle, I think I need to sort out my rugged hardened traveler look, as opposed to the fresh off the plane innocent fear in my eyes gawp I'm currently sporting. With this in mind I've stopped shaving but think the resultant 'bum-fluff' makes me an even more obvious target! Fly to Bangkok tomorrow and looking forward to the change of scenery.